HUMOR IN THERAPY
Laughter in Wartime: "Humor is the healthiest part of the soul"
While it is difficult, almost impossible, to see the good in the pain, there is a place for laughter and humor as effective methods of revealing the light at the end of the tunnel of pain. Medical clown, Ariel Keren, writes a special column on the importance of humor in wartime.
For the past ten years, I have been working as a medical clown at ALYN Hospital in Jerusalem, and on this fascinating journey I discovered a few things about human resilience, which comes from laughter and humor. Hospitalization and wars have quite a bit in common. There is fear, there is uncertainty, there is a reality that has changed, there is a lack of control over the situation, there is loneliness and there are painful memories. The routine of life is upended, and you have to deal with limitations.
The medical clowns with the red nose arrive at hospitals routinely, and try to interact with and get through to patients with curiosity and with the help of humor. It really helps me to do goofy magic and juggle the art of slapstick (for example: walking into a pole, or slipping and falling), and also to improvise stories, in that I start a story, but I have no idea how it will end.
After establishing a positive relationship with the patient and his family, there is a desire to restore the experience of control to him and them. For example, the patient or his family is allowed to decide which song to play, which game to play, any idea or action, which detaches even for a moment from the less pleasant reality in the present - it is excellent, as long as it comes from the patient or his family.
In order to understand the meaning of detachment from harsh reality with humor, imagine a week-long family vacation abroad. For many, during such a week there are quarrels in the car, maybe the hotel is disappointing - because it looks different than we expected it to be, and on the day of the main attraction, it rains and the weather is stormy.
However, a few years after this family vacation, when we flip through the photo album and go back to memories of the family vacation, we will remember mostly happy pictures. Most of us will tell about a fun experience; and even the less positive information, we will remember fondly and with a smile: "Remember it was rainy on the day of the amusement park, and Dad didn't notice that he was stepping in a huge puddle and getting all wet.... Haha. Then we went to a weird restaurant with neon lights, and drank nasty chocolate, haha" and laugh about it.
This is an example that illustrates the role of medical clowns in war. In the face of someone who has experienced terrible trauma, we would like to remove him from the incomprehensible reality even for a few moments, and remind him that this reality is not routine, because the routine is quite good and has pleasant experiences.
While it is difficult, almost impossible, to see the good in the pain, there is a place for laughter and humor as effective methods of revealing the light at the end of the tunnel of pain. When people smile, they convey to the world and to their bodies that they are in a calm and safe place, in an inclusive place, in a place where you can let go of inhibitions and even feel childish. It is important to plant even one happy and positive memory in the traumatic memory of those days.
Small children feel the whole spectrum of emotions with great intensity, directly from the heart. In each and every one of us there is a sweet and charming and healthy child inside. If we laugh like children, we will make the biggest leap towards healing.
My grandfather Shmuel spent three years in Auschwitz. In hell on earth for almost 1,000 days. If you open and read his memoir, you will find a lot of humor. A different view of reality. He accurately described everything he went through and how he lost his entire family, including his wife and child, but he wrote the book not from a place of defeat or depression, but from a place of triumph, heroism and survival. The humor in Holocaust memoirs is so powerful because it shows that an enemy can defeat the body and deny freedom, but cannot defeat the soul. Humor is the healthiest part of the soul.
Everyone can make people happy and laugh.
I want to reveal a secret. The medical clown's red nose may help, maybe it helps progress, maybe it makes things easier, but it's not the main thing. You don't really need it. Each and every one of us can make people happy, make them laugh, show support, empower, do good in the world, love, be there for the other – all to give an empowering moment in the midst of the trauma.
I'll end with a story with a moral to it; Father and son were hiking in the desert. Suddenly, the son fell and was injured, and shouted: "Ahhh." He heard "Ahhh" in the distance. The son shouted back: "Who is this?" and heard: "Who is this?" The son shouted: "Enough, you're annoying" and heard back: "You're annoying," and became sad.
The father managed to go down the slope and reach his son, who said, "Dad, there's someone here who is annoying and imitating me and making me sad." The father responded, "You're a champion." They both heard back: "You're a champion." The father added, "I love you," and they heard back, "I love you." The father looked at his son and explained: "It's called an echo, and echoes are just like life. They pay you back for what you say and do. If you want more smiles and love in the world, spread more smiles and love around." May we will know better days than these, and may we not forget to be happy and rejoice.